What I'm Watching:
I can talk!
I missed yesterday because I actually felt good enough to do something other than lay in bed all day. That also meant that, with all the excitement of feeling better, I had completely forgotten about this. Oh well. The interesting part of this is pretty much over. It's just back to me ranting about random entertainment sectors.
I still have symptoms. They are slight, but still present. Lungs still have a sting to them. So hopefully I can just keep improving to the point that I don't feel any of these respiratory issues anymore. Let's just hope it's not something that's just a thing I have now. Weak lungs. I guess we'll see, the more research gets done on this virus.
I'm really stress-free right now. I don't have to go back for another 13 days, I'm still under quarantine, and the whole world is staying in. It's not a bad position to be in.
|The Mountains sure are pretty... when I actually go to them.|
This virus is really weird. I've noticed myself feeling much better in the mornings and progressively getting worse as the day goes on. My lungs hurt the most at night. It's a really obnoxious problem to have because I wake up, feel better, think I may have gotten over the hump, then it's just a downhill slope. It's quite annoying. But I am better. I think by the end of the week, I'll be completely back to normal. Or at least, I hope so.
The biggest issue I've had in all of this is the stresses of my job/dealing with the doctor. I just feel like I never have enough information. I just want this to be done and over with so I can stop dealing with paperwork. Paperwork is easily the worst part of all this. Okay, maybe it's the lungs.
I find myself having a ton of time on my hands but the main thing I've noticed is how much happier I've been getting away from my workplace. Not having to get up at 3:00am and go to bed at 8:00pm has been so nice. Not to mention not having to go to such a soul-sucking place. I think, if anything, this virus has shown me that my job, despite its few benefits, is overall a very negative part of my life. I've had crappy jobs, but I've never worked with such crappy people. I think it's time for a change. Only, now's a really crappy time to find another job.
In fact, I'd say it's one of the worst. The jobs that are out there, are mostly temporary. And Colorado just isn't the best place to be picky about work. Too many people have moved/been moving out here. Hell, I'm one of them.
I do question whether it's time for a change. I've looked at jobs in different, cheaper states and they look much more tempting. I don't go to the mountains ever. So why would I want to stay in a place that charges extra to be near them? Just doesn't make a ton of sense to me these days. I think this is just another thing that's added to my stresses this last week.
Lots of decisions to be made in the near future.
God, I hate decision-making.
|My Premiere Project file for James Bond.|
Well this is the best morning I've had in a while. I can breathe a little better. Throat is a little less sore. Coughing comes a little less frequent. I don't want to get ahead of myself but it definitely seems like I'm going in a positive direction.
I haven't gone this long without making a video in a quite a while. I'm starting to feel the itch. I was hoping to record a bunch of stuff during this self-isolation since there'd be no other big commitments but then this virus had other ideas. I can't even hold a conversation longer than thirty seconds, never mind recording a video where I actually have to have some energy. Just ain't gonna happen.
I've also been starting to have more back issues since I've essentially just been in my bed/at my computer since Tuesday. Sure, I spend a lot of my time like that anyhow, but I also work actively at my job for 4-5 hours and even do yoga sporadically throughout the day. So, while I'm very sedentary, it's never quite to this extent. So I'm really feeling it. Thankfully, with a little more energy, I'm hoping I can actually do some proper stretching.
I've had a lot of ideas of what to do when I'm able to start making videos again, so that's been cool. I had been going through a little bit of a creative lull last fall, but that feels like its all but dissipated. If there's one thing I've discovered about myself over the last several years its that if I'm not being creative, I'm not happy. So I just try and itch that creative bug as much as possible and it pays dividends on the mental health side.
Also, what do you think of the site redesign? I hadn't realized how cumbersome things had gotten. It started to be a pain to even navigate to certain pages. But, after seeing the incredible stats for this site, I figured I should change things up. Seriously, you guys are awesome. I can't believe this site is doing so well. Just look at these numbers:
I can't thank you enough. After running a Youtube channel for 1.5 years that gets about 500-750 views a month (mostly on older videos), this has been really cool to see. I'll probably keep this a little more active in the meantime. Maybe even post the videos over here with a little more in depth description.
I hope that Social Distancing/Quarantine/Social Isolation has been going well for you. We're likely still at the very beginning of all of this, but it seems like people are getting a little more of a grasp on it. We should, hopefully, start to see grocery stores fill up again as non-essential items are pushed back to bring in the good stuff like toilet paper and canned goods. But maybe I'm just being optimistic.
That's a first.
|My quarantine has consisted of a lot of these two things.|
Guess I should start by talking about how I'm doing. So far, so good. The respiratory issues are definitely still present but more painful than anything, which is doable. I woke up this morning and was really nauseous but that left fairly quickly. Otherwise, I'd still consider myself to be a mild case. Now, I just need all the damn paperwork to go through so I can stop stressing.
I've started to discover how the worst part of this is just how much I hate not being able to exercise in some form. I have a very physical job so, not burning those calories in a given day has started to be annoying. I can't even do yoga because half the positions put too much pressure on my lungs. Not to mention I'd have to take about 43 breaks in order to actually complete a session. I'm ready to go back to normal. Hell, I want to go for a run. I never run. That's how annoying this has been.
Speaking of normal, I wrote a shit ton about movies yesterday. I started watching "Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle" and realized I had a lot to say about it. Ended up writing pages on the difference between "Welcome" and its sequel "The Next Level." I'm going to make it into a really in-depth video. So that's yet another reason I want to get better. I want to be able to record again.
Since I have all this time on my hands, I decided it was finally time to get into Animal Crossing. Yes, that's right, I've found myself getting "Animal Crossing: New Horizons" and honestly? Yeah, I'm loving it. It's a lot of fun. And it's a really light play, which is great for a time like this. The grinding style really suits me, especially when there are all these tiered goals that can really help with progression. It's been a lot of fun.
I've also been playing Subnautica again but I think that may be stopping because for some reason I lost all my progress from yesterday, which was like two hours of grinding materials. I'm still salty about it. Guess it just means I have to return to the cutesy world of Animal Crossing rather than search the depths of the ocean with terrifying alien creatures. Probably a good decision.
|I really hate these boxes.|
I'm officially off work for the foreseeable future. I have to wait for the local Covid Response Team to contact me about whatever the next step is, whether that be testing or just quarantine until symptoms dissipate.
The only issue, which I'm sure many others are going through, is if you're decided to not be in a high risk group, and they decide not to test, they treat you as a positive, but no one else does. My work immediately told me that "Well, you need an actual positive test to get paid during this time."
Upfront, I'm not concerned about the money aspect. It's not like I'm making Scrooge-McDuck levels of cash, where the lack of work for a couple weeks will such a hole. Plus, I have a vacation coming up that will cover some of the time away. I just can't believe I work for a company that lacks such humanity. This is the same company that never acknowledged the Pandemic. As of Tuesday it was, what, ten days since it was made official? Not a single word from management.
I think this has been the most disheartening aspect of it all. It tells me I need to leave. I'm miserable there and have been for a long time. Yet 3.2 million people just went on unemployment and I can't exactly be picky about my work. It's unfortunate and a situation I'm sure many people find themselves in.
Either way, I'm glad that this virus has taught me to prioritize certain things in life. Because not everyone does, even after big events like this. Hell, just look at all the people trying to open the economy back up. We are Corporate America. We stopped being for The People a long time ago.
|I've had the same outfit on for three days.|
I think I have it.
I've never had respiratory problems in my life and suddenly I have them at the same time a massive virus is going around that causes respiratory problems. I mean, I can put two and two together. Still, I'm not freaking out about anything. It's uncomfortable but it's not the end of the world.
I think the thing that people need to remember is that, yes, this virus is very bad. But it's not very bad for everybody. There are some perfectly healthy individuals who this will affect terribly. There are some unhealthy people who will get this and have a slight cough and fever. This virus is very much a spectrum of symptoms and, every case is different.
I don't believe mine to be a bad one. But I'm still taking it all very seriously.
This morning was one of the worst mornings I've had and it was still manageable. I've been very sedentary and super cautious, which has made this much better. I can't imagine actually going to work or do any sort of activity. I'd be out of breath and dizzy in no time. That's how I know that it's something. Which means I have to quarantine. Even if I'm able to handle it, I could spread it to someone that simply cannot.
So the last few days have been weird. I probably would have been guilted into going back to work at this point by my management. But they know it's a big deal and aren't pushing anything. I think the moment I told them, they knew to prepare to not have me for two weeks. Unfortunately, it's not like that outside of this pandemic. Hell, it wouldn't surprise me if they try and force me back even sooner than I'm comfortable with. But I know I'll stand my ground. Because if there's one thing this whole ordeal has taught me it's:
Fuck corporations. People are the only thing that matter.
|Felt this was appropriate.|
I don't really think it's the coronavirus but I'm making sure to quarantine just in case. It's been a weird one. I haven't really had an illness where I have trouble breathing. This aspect is the only thing that leads me to believe I have the virus. Otherwise, the fever I have is very slight, if at all. But clearly this is something respiratory.
It's mild, so it's not like I'm dying or going crazy. But my day job definitely requires me to touch a lot of stuff that then gets sent to others, so I'd be putting a ton of people at risk if I were to go to work. And it sounds like I won't even be able to get a test, even if I try to at the doctors. All quite unfortunate. Oh well. I'll just hunker down and wait this thing out. I guess this is what the world has come to.
The only thing that sucks is that, while I have a decent amount of groceries, I got sick out of nowhere and it's a lot of bland food. Why didn't I stock up on pizza rolls? So my near future will feature a lot of pasta and cup o noodles. Oh well. Lesson learned for next time. Hopefully the local Chinese place doesn't mind dropping stuff off on the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm in this weird middle ground and it's frustrating. Whatever fever I do have, it comes and goes, as does my cough. I clearly have a sore throat and a lack of energy but, above all, I know that these breathing issues aren't normal. I can only get about 75% of a breath before it becomes painful. So it's a lot of half breaths.
But I can easily see this just being something else, just happening at the same time as all of this. Oh well. I'm just gonna try and enjoy the time away from my job and watch a lot of stuff. Because for the foreseeable future, I'm legit stuck in my room.
|Look at that glorious beard circa January. I trimmed it. I regret that decision.|
I may have something very interesting to talk about on this blog soon but as of now, it's premature.
Otherwise, my head is cloudy and I don't really know what to discuss. People seem to be going crazier and crazier. Especially the right-wing business-centric folks. It's kind of insane just how bad this all seems to be. And now the repercussions of shutting so much down is starting to be felt and big business is freaking out.
I care more about the people than these dumb corporations that constantly get bailouts. Most people have paid more taxes than Amazon, which is so absurd to me. Even now, the stimulus bill is trying to be passed with a bunch of benefits for billionaires/corporations. Why on earth would they need a bailout? Give it to the people.
Goddamn did I get political with this one. I'm really mad about all of this and I feel like the fact that they're trying to open things up so soon is just ridiculous. Especially with cases getting worse and worse here. Italy has had less cases for the first time, and it's because they've been on a severe lockdown. We haven't been on near that kind of lockdown, yet people are freaking out. This is all so absurd. I feel like a crazy person for seeing all of these people that claim to be morally right doing so many things that are objectively immoral.
Wait, what's that? The CEO of Hobby Lobby's wife said that God spoke to her and that everything would be okay?
Nevermind, guys. False alarm.
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