The Problem With WWE (a fan's letter to management)

This is a letter I wrote to WWE in December of 2015 after months and months of frustration with them. The product was terrible and I genuinely did not like sitting through Raw every Monday (I'm a creature of habit so I never cut it out entirely. Sue me). So I made the decision to make a list of all of my grievances and send it into the company in Stamford, Connecticut.

"Dear WWE,

Your product is not good and it is your fault. Not the talent who have tried effortlessly to make things work. Not the fans who have supported your business and tried telling you who they want pushed. And not the critics who have an issue with your product even when it is good. The problem is simply with you.

There are a couple points that need to be made:

Roman Reigns is not John Cena.

I like John Cena. He's a good wrestler with great charisma that has held the top spot for longer than some people are even in the business. His character has been stale for 7+ years yet WWE hasn't had to turn him heel because he still sells out in merchandise. He's still huge even when half of the people in the stands hate him. Roman Reigns doesn't have that.

Right now, Reigns is running on fumes. The only reason he's over with the kids is because he's booked to never lose, which kids can't get enough of. And the only reason he's over with the female audience is because he's handsome. He isn't always going to be the "up and coming" guy, and that interest will depart.

People don't respect Reigns. I know that I don't. He's been handed everything on a silver platter. He was in arguably one of the greatest groups of all time in The Shield where he was carried by Seth Rollins in the ring and Dean Ambrose on the mic. Look back at all of those great Shield matches and you'll notice that Reigns doesn't do much.In fact, his finish has been the same for three years.

Reigns has a terrible finisher. The spear is something that when it looks good, it's amazing. Just look at Goldberg and Rhyno, two people who delivered absolutely brutal looking spears. Then look at Edge and Reigns, where the move looks like it'd hardly take someone to the ground, let alone take them out for the three count. And Roman has done nothing to change that. He still uses the same moves that he did while in The Shield.

Sasha Banks is the future of the company

Ask any wrestling fan who the best female wrestler in the company is and 90% will say Sasha Banks. Hell, ask who the best WRESTLER is in the company and Sasha's name likely pops up (now that Rollins is gone on injury, I'd say she legitimately is the best in the company). And WWE has been sure not to destroy her character. To my best recollection, Sasha has not been pinned or submitted in a match on Raw or Smackdown. That's a big deal.

So why is WWE not treating it like it is?

The only consistent chant in WWE these days outside of "What?" is "We Want Sasha!" and yet WWE doesn't deliver. They want to hold them back. They say it's to make us want them more and that it's a long term plan. But then why isn't Reigns treated like that? If we chanted "We Want Roman" he'd be in two more segments and every poster for getting that kind of reaction. Yet Sasha gets it every week and isn't rewarded in the slightest.

Predictable = LAME

Why are we being treated to the SAME Raw every week. It's always the same thing, and when they do try and do something different, they repeat it enough that it all becomes formulaic. That comes with Kevin Dunn."

And this is where I stopped. I was simply done with being so negative, it wasn't very appealing to me. I found myself getting tired just complaining about the product. So instead of completing the letter, I decided to do something about it. I stopped watching the product when I wasn't happy with what was happening. I'd start watching Raw and if WWE didn't do enough to impress me within the first hour, I was gone. And as for Smackdown, that was cut out of the rotation. Even NXT, my absolute favorite brand in wrestling, couldn't do it for me. I needed my issues to be addressed. And you know what?

They did it.

Is the product anything amazing right now? No, absolutely not. In fact, in some parts it's worse than it's ever been (lower to mid-card booking is just plain terrible. I've seen more Owens/Ziggler matches than I care to count.) but overall, the product has improved. And how did they do this? Well, working our way backwards, they finally started to take away the predictability from Raw. They tried new camera angles, new segment placement, and a reinvigorated roster.

Sure, the predictability changes could just be due to the fact that the WWE doesn't have any of its regular top guys. Bryan has retired and Rollins, Cena, Orton, and Cesaro are injured so WWE has been forced to push new guys. So this unpredictability could change once the summer months hit and more people start coming back from injury (barring injuries to others or setbacks) and WWE can manage the same ole, same ole with their top stars. Only time will tell.

And hey look, they're finally doing something cool with Smackdown! While the brand hasn't been relevant in a very long time, it's been picking up ever since the move to the USA Network. The greatest improvement with the show is the replacement of Michael Cole with Mauro Ranallo on commentary. Not only has Ranallo done his research, providing unique insight we'd never get otherwise, but he actually calls the action in the ring! What an idea, eh?

Next we have Sasha Banks, who I continue to say will be the future of the company. I'm sorry but she's just too damn good and Triple H loves her which means she'll be getting prime placement for years to come. She's currently on track for a Diva's title match at Wrestlemania (rumor has it being a triple threat also involving Becky Lynch) and is likely going to walk away with the title. Even if she doesn't, she still hasn't been pinned or submitted since she's come up to the Main Roster, a feat not many women achieve in WWE.

Going back to unpredictability for a minute, if you had told me back in December that we'd be seeing AJ Styles in a WWE ring then I would have told you how stupid you were, using a very long winded speech where I constantly insulted your intelligence while also talking up my own. It was that unlikely. And then it fucking happened. Not only that, but we're also getting Shinsuke Nakamura in NXT.

Now, if you're solely into WWE, then you likely don't know about Nakamura but let me tell you that he may just be the greatest wrestler in the world. Sorry, Rollins. Coming from New Japan Pro Wrestling, he and AJ Styles put on one of the best matches I've ever seen at Wrestle Kingdom 10, and the thought of getting a match like that in WWE is like having a premonition of a complete revolution. Again, good job, World Wrestling Entertainment.

Unfortunately, WWE is failing to address their biggest issue of them all: Roman Reigns. The same problems that existed before, still exist today and have even been amplified in some regards. One of the few things that Reigns had going for him is that he takes his licks like a man, and takes severe beatings for the crowd. Except that he doesn't. On a recent Raw, a fan camera discovered Byron Saxton handing Roman Reigns a blood packet for what would be a "broken nose spot." That's right, those moments of Roman getting his ass kicked, where he shows blood and is supposed to help get him over with the crowd, is just as fake as the events around him. He's not a badass. He's management's choice.

And the WWE Universe has firmly decided against it.

Vince and Co. can try as much as they want to try and push Reigns but after two years, the Universe has decided that they're not buying it. Reigns has been booed two PPV's in a row (it would be more but he got over briefly at TLC) and is looking to get booed at Mania yet again. The experiment is over. If they don't understand that yet, then they will after Wrestlemania 32, where Reigns flops yet again.

Ultimately, this is a large reason why I will not be at Wrestlemania in Dallas this year. I don't want to support Reigns as the top guy and I would get great glee in knowing that WWE didn't reach the magic 100K number, all because of their stubbornness over who is going to be in the main event. Will it still happen? Who knows, as WWE sure is stubborn and has a rabid fanbase.

So while WWE certainly has done some things to improve the product in just two months time, I'm still not happy enough with it to step back into it full on. I will still be skipping every Reigns segment, and multitasking during Raws, but there's enough pieces at play for them where the sky is the limit, and I'm excited about the future again. Because, you know...

Here comes the mon-ayy!!!

Random Thoughts for February 2016

Life has been busy. Between starting a new job and putting all the final touches on the book, free time has been limited but dammit if it isn't extremely fulfilling. I'm the type of person that is only really happy when I'm progressing with my goals and can see the results right in front of me. So having a completed book, that I've gone over with a fine tooth comb, sitting in front of me is one of the more satisfying experiences I've had in my life. I can only imagine how I'll feel when I actually have a physical copy in front of me.

My "Battlestar Galactica" binge has been halted. Otherwise I may have
ended up finishing the entire series in just a manner of weeks which may not have been deemed healthy. See, my Bluray for Season 3 had an error and they gave me two Disc 3's and zero Disc 1's. Simple mistake that I thought Universal had taken care of promptly but they made yet another mistake and sent me Season Three Disc 3 AGAIN. And on DVD. I just can't catch a break. So it's been almost two months since this whole ordeal has started and it still isn't resolved. I'm not sure if I'll ever get the correct disc.

Go play some "Life is Strange." I kept hearing of it being placed on all sorts of Game of the Year lists, but something failed to intrigue me. Then Marc made a blind buy over Christmas Break, and that was that. As soon as I started it, the characters immediately hooked me. Max and Chloe are two of the best characters I've ever encountered in the medium of video games. While the story contributes to that, the acting by these women is truly inspiring and provides a whole new world of artistry. By the time the game ended, I was absolutely bawling at the journey the developers brought me on. Even now, going over the events of the game in my head, I'm getting a little sad. It hits that deep. While I can't say I'll be revisiting it anytime soon due to care for my own mental wellness, I can't encourage you enough to play one of the greatest games ever made.

"The Crimson Summer" is coming! I have an editor and cover artist and I'm slowly starting to figure out a release date but it's looking like late April. It's crazy that this is even happening since I've always dreamed of releasing a book but didn't think it'd be plausible so young. It should be available for pre-order next month, so keep an eye out so you don't miss it.

Trying to reconnect with my childhood for some reason. For me, that means that I've been watching some movies that were a big part of my youth that I hadn't seen in some time. It's been primarily Disney movies which has made it an interesting experience. Rewatching Aladdin reminded me why I loved it so much as a kid.

Marc helped me build a computer. Which means I finally actually have a computer. It's taken a little getting used to since I haven't had a desktop in many years. Still, I'm excited to be able to actually have some kind of computer in my room that isn't just a cellphone. The random need to write comes up to often for me and therefore a lot of writing happened on my phone. Not exactly the most ideal solution so I'm glad that I'll have a better outlet. Especially once I start the second book.

I recently turned 25 and nothing changed. I guess I was expecting some kind of big change, like with past years, but this one was just another change. Sure, my insurance changes but that's not exactly something that's not manageable. It's nice though, my own father had a four-year-old and a eight-year-old at this age. I have no responsibility that even comes close to that. It's both a relief and something that's risen my respect-level for those that do it.

I'm still deciding on Book Two. I have several ideas for what I want to do, but I still haven't quite made the decision as to which one I'm going for. I have one idea completely plotted out, another outlined, and others just brewing around in my head. I won't make that decision until after Crimson Summer has been released, so as not to distract myself, but the thought has still been lingering. There are a lot of choices to be made and the possibilities have me quite excited.

zombievictim's Ultimate 2015 List

I can't believe another year has finally come and gone and a whole lot of media has been consumed. Now, I haven't listened to anymore than two whole CDs this year, so that won't be a category, but I've seen more than enough movies to make up for it. As with any year, some of the more depressing dramas are in my "haven't seen" list because I always find myself watching said drama's before the Oscars, in order to catch up. Watching a dark drama and putting myself through the emotional roller coaster at hand is a tall order for someone like me. So years from now this list could look very different (I also think Star Wars will age well and move up on repeat viewings) but as of this day, the 31st of December, the last of 2015, I think the choices are at least close. So...

Here.

We.

GO!

Favorite Movies

1. Mad Max: Fury Road 
2. Inside Out 
3. What We Do In The Shadows 
4. Ex Machina 
5. Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck 
6. Jurassic World 
7. The Hateful Eight
8. Straight Outta Compton
9. Terminator: Genisys 
10. Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Honorable Mentions: Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation, Ant Man, Creed

Haven't seen: American Sniper, While We're Young, Lost River,
Maggie, Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, The Visit,
Sleeping With Other People, 99 Homes, Room, The Martian,
The Walk, Steve Jobs, Crimson Peak, Beasts of No Nation

Favorite Television Shows

1. Scream Queens
2. Daredevil
3. Ash vs. The Evil Dead
4. Game of Thrones
5. Red Oaks
6. Casual
7. Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt
8. HitRecord on TV
9. Jessica Jones
10. The Carmichael Show

Haven't seen: Better Call Saul, Fargo, Man in a High Tower, Narcos

Favorite Video Games

1. Fallout 4
2. Batman: Arkham Knight
3. Halo 5: Guardians
4. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
5. Tell Tale's Game of Thrones

Essential Christmas Movies (Part Two)

Finally back to finish up the list that started all of this off. While I'm sure some will be surprised by some obvious exclusions and even more shocked at some inclusions, again this is just what I consider to be essential movies to watch every December. You may agree or disagree but just remember that chances are if you don't agree with me, then you're wrong.

Just kidding. Let's get this show on the road.

Elf

I still find it kind of odd that this movie has taken on the life that it has. Will Ferrell is a staple of most modern Christmas'? What a strange world we live in. But this film really does manage to catch lightning in a bottle, given that it was a movie by Jon Favreau, who hadn't really had much success in the kid-friendly genre. Somehow the movie pulls in many elements that you wouldn't think would actually work, and gives them new life.

Fun Fact: Will Ferrell turned down $29 million to be in Elf 2 in late 2013.

Scrooged

There are many different forms of Charles Dickin's classic "A Christmas Carol" but this may just be my favorite. And it's no wonder given that it's headed by Bill Murray, who may or may not be the funniest man on the planet. I'm not sure if my parents actively avoided letting me see this film, because it does have some rather dark content, or if it was just a different day and age and they simply didn't own the film on VHS (similar to why 'A Christmas Story' didn't enter my annual rotation until my early teens). Either way, I'm glad I didn't catch on until later in life because it's really grown to be a personal favorite of mine and one I wish I could get away with watching outside of December.

Fun Fact: Sam Kinison was originally slated to play the part of The 

Ghost of Christmas Past. The part eventually went to David Johansen 

due to his friendship with Bill Murray.

The Muppet Christmas Carol

This has always been the version of "A Christmas Carol" that reverberated throughout my childhood. Sure, I knew of the existence CHarles Dickens classic, but the Muppet version was the only movie in my annual holiday rotation. Scrooged was a more recent addition as its more adult content, but a part of me will always prefer this one.

Fun Fact: According to Brian Henson, the decision to use Gonzo and 

Rizzo to narrate the story was made because he wanted to incorporate 

the narration and prose of the Charles Dickens novel into the film.

Bad Santa

It had taken me forever to finally see this movie but now that I have, it's a must. Sure, these days the shenanigans going on can even be seen on some Cable TV shows, but this level of swearing--involving Christmas, no less!--There's a sequel on the way and while I doubt it'll have the same spark as the original, seeing any Christmas movie with severely adult content makes me chuckle.

Fun Fact: Billy Bob Thornton admitted that he was genuinely intoxicated 

during the filming.

Guilty Pleasure Christmas Movies

By now you should know that I quite like bad movies. Like, really like them. I may even enjoy really terrible movies more than I like really good movies. That's just how my brain works. Make fun of me as you please. But thankfully this strange affliction has left me enjoying some of the most unintentionally funny movies around. And Christmas really likes to throw in some spectacularly bad ones.

Jingle all the Way

This entire list was pretty much made just to make sure that this movie got its time in the spotlight. Seriously, this movie is just baaaaad but yet soooo good. Watching it as a kid, I never quite understood just how bad it was. I mean, how can a production company make a movie based around a toy and not have the toy in every store across the nation. Turbo Man looked stiff and flimsy and would probably break within minutes of playing with it, but dammit I wanted it! Just like every kid wanted one, because that's what the movie dictated and kids are stupid. Yet they weren't made available. It's something that never made sense to me as a child but then as an adult, I was able to realize just how much of a shoddy production it was. It would have practically been like printing money but they screwed that up. That pretty much sums up this mess of a movie.

Fun Fact: Chris Columbus originally wanted Joe Pesci for

 the part of Myron, but was deemed too short next to Arnold.

The Santa Clause 2

This probably has more to do with my love for the original but this movie has always stuck with me as a continuation of a story I truly love. Sure, it falls off the rails and becomes a crazy CGI monstrosity, but it doesn't go along the same path as the third one which is just plain bad. Who ever thought having Martin Short as Jack Frost would be anything but MST3K level bad? Although I do absolutely love "Evil Santa" in this film. Nearly everything he says makes me chuckle and is the main reason why this film is even on the list.

Fun Fact: When Santa is on his first date with the aspiring singer/songwriter 

if you look at her shirt the face of Santa is that of Tim Allen.

Santa's Little Helper

Yep, I have no legs to stand on at this point. I'm not even going to begin to act like this is good in any conceivable way. It's a WWE production done on a shoestring budget with a weak story trying to tie into Christmas. It's not like there was much to be expected from it and that's most of the fun. I just imagine this crew trying to film this movie in July and just looking like idiots. The screenwriter's clearly looked at A Christmas Carol and It's A Wonderful Life for inspiration and then failed to understand what made those work. They gave us a terrible lead character who doesn't really change and is still able to get what he wants. There's odd messages and the film is really poorly made... AKA you need to go seek this catastrophe out immediately.

Fun Fact: An episode of WWE's Total Diva's is playing on the TV in the nursing home.

Christmas Skits

Talk about a New Age segment! I figured this would be a good way to cover youtube videos/SNL skits/whatever the hell else that I deemed to be a good addition to Christmas. I also wanted to be able to showcase some other moments, and although they aren't something you need to watch every year (The Essential Movies 100% should be) they're still a nice time time filler to get you in the holiday spirit.

"The 12 Days of Shitsmas" - Angry Video Game Nerd

I enjoy Angry Video Game Nerd far more than I should given how little I've played of the games that he usually goes over, but something about the style of the videos has always appealed. So it was great to see him do a whole 12 day series for the Holidays and angrily review 12 different games.

"Motivational Santa" - Saturday Night Live

You can't really go wrong with having Chris Farley play a motivational Santa, complete with his usual sidekick David Spade. There were loads of SNL clips to choose from, but this one always stood out, mainly because everything Farley does is absolutely hilarious.

"Just as Good As Cookies" - Monkey and Apple

This is a creepy video. Let me just warn you before you even attempt to watch it. MonkeyandApple is a youtube channel I've been following for a while and really just wanted to include one of their skits. It's not their best but it is hilarious. Also, I find it odd saying "their" when it is one guys channel but that's the name, so I'm sticking with it.

"Christmas Special" - Evil Iguana Productions

Another youtube channel that I've been following since High School. This is actually the main reason that I came up with this idea because this skit popped into my head, even though I hadn't watched it in years. Their popularity has dwindled in recent years, but they're still putting out great content, so I highly recommend checking them out.

Essential Christmas Horror Movies

It's hard for me to have any holiday come up and not associate it with some kind of horror movie. That's just the way my brain works. There's "Halloween", "Black Christmas", "My Bloody Valentine", "April Fools Day" -- hell, even birthday's get an association with "Happy Birthday To Me." A plethora of horror movies for every holiday you can think of but still, the ultimate holiday of all can be slim pickins.

So here are some Christmas-themed horror movies that are actually worth a watch.

Black Christmas

This one is tough because, no, it's not a movie for everyone. It's more slow paced, and really ventures far from what life is now like with the advent of technology, but for those willing to go along for the ride, they're rewarded with one of the most atmospheric horror films ever made. It's just an added bonus that it all takes place at Christmas time. Kind of weird to think that this is directed by the same person that, years later, would take on "A Christmas Story." Oh what vastly different subject matter.

Fun Fact: The original title of the films script was "Stop Me". 

It was director Bob Clark who came up with the title 

"Black Christmas" saying that he liked the irony of 

something dark occurring during such a festive holiday.

Black X-Mas

That's right, I'm including both the original and the remake on the same list and you know what? I don't even feel a little guilty about it. I love this movie so much. Sure, it's not good but dammit if it doesn't know how to be a ridiculous time. The cast is full of people that have gone on to do something, no matter how small that something may be. And the gore effects, while trite and repetitive, happen so in such an odd sequence, that it illicits giggles from me every time. There's one sequence towards the end where four people are killed in all of about 30 seconds. It's done so comically that half of them are more humorous than horrifying. The movie tries for a black comedy (no pun intended) approach, but doesn't know what kind of movie it wants to be when the kills happen. So we're left with a pretty uneven mess that, in spite of its flaws, brings us pretty girls getting murdered in bulk in what can only be deemed a "loose remake" of the original. Add all that to the wonderfully Christmas-y color palette, and you've got yourself one fun Christmas Eve.

Fun Fact: During one scene the famous "leg lamp" from A Christmas 

Story (1983) can be seen in the background.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

This movie is fuuuuuucked up. While I still haven't seen the remake, I can't imagine it follows along the same spectrum because disturbing wouldn't begin to cover it. Having your parents killed in front of you by a psychotic Santa Clause all because they stopped to help him with his broken down car? Ouch. Add to it that the kid also got to witness Santa rape his mother before killing her, it's no wonder that this kid grows up to have all sorts of fucked up problems.

Fun Fact: To protest the film, critics Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel 

read the credits out loud on their television show saying, 

"shame, shame, shame" after each name.

Future Friday the 13th Sequel

Okay, now I'm just reaching for straws but seriously, how has this not been done yet? Jason in the snow writes itself! I'll always hold out hope that this eventually happens but given that the series has had some difficulty getting off the ground as of late, I'm doubting that will happen. Still, there will always be my blind optimism I can look back on and at least say that I tried.

Fun Fact: This will likely never happen 

because Hollywood is stupid.

Essential Christmas Songs

Oh yes. I'm going there. Every holiday season we are treated with the radio (wait, do people still listen to that anymore?), okay the internet, being bombarded with X-mas tunes. I worked at Michael's during the Christmas months and it was filled with more holiday songs than I ever even knew existed.

There are so many different versions of all the classic Christmas songs out there that it's hard to pick just one. And really, with so many different versions out there, it's really just a matter of environment as to which you prefer. If you grew up with some Bing Crosby "Jingle Bells" then that's perfectly fine. It's also fine if your preferred version of the song is The Joker's rendition from Batman The Animated Series. Christmas songs are so reliant on childhood nostalgia and trying to pass on traditions to the younger generations, that I felt it would be silly not to do my own favorite holiday song list.

"(It Must've Been 'Ol) Santa Claus" - Harry Connick Jr.

I blame my step-mom as the reason why I enjoy Harry Connick Jr. Christmas albums. As soon as she entered the picture during Christmas time, she was filling the house with some HCJ. I think my younger self was probably annoyed with the music, since I thought there was already enough on the radio (back when it was actually listened to!). It wasn't until years later, while reflecting, that I realized just how much I enjoyed all of his renditions of classic X-Mas songs. This one in particular always stood out to me above the rest and I hope you can understand why.

 

"Bart Simpson's Jingle Bells" - The Simpsons

Sure, the original "Jingle Bells" is a classic but no matter what, the version that always enters my head is Bart Simpson's rendition. Sure, a moment may pop in where I think about Mark Hamill's Joker belting it out as he's riding a giant Christmas Tree, but otherwise it goes right to the first ever episode of The Simpsons.

"The Chanukah Song" - Adam Sandler

Okay, okay, so with the inclusion of this song on the list, I could have titled it "Essential HOLIDAY Songs" but you know what? Fuck it. The theme is "12 Days of Christmas" and I still say this falls under the umbrella. Don't think so? Boohoo it's my list. Anyway, the song itself is probably Sandler's best ever (is there even really competition?) and there are many different versions, but this one has always been my favorite.

"White Christmas" - Bing Crosby

I love me some old school X-Mas songs and there's nothing quite better than Bing Crosby's 1954 classic. I still have yet to see the film from which is comes from, but the song has been featured in more than enough pop culture to have it completely intertwined in the Holiday season.